no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
