Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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