I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
