The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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