If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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