I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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