8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
