your parents love me but you hate me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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