How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
