I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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