i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think i got beer on your cat.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
