i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
