Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
