God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
kristin has been a bad kristin
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
