Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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