I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
