OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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