She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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