hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
