I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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