There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
