i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
