the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
