she was so not down for the gang bang
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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