I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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