it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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