Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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