Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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