Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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