hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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