I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
