the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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