i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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