It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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