They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
