im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Randomize