Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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