I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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