After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize