dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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