Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
