The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
