Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
