Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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