i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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