i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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