I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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