Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize