this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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