So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
