flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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