Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize