Where is the hickey?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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