if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize